Triage of Cute Acts

Monday, November 10, 2014

Mothers of babies and toddlers are often yelling, 'Hey ___(name of significant other)_____, come 'ere!'            

But we're not always forthcoming about why we're asking our husband to 'come here,' are we now?  We're summoning him because, well...because the child we created together is doing something cute – cute to very cute in fact.  Here's the thing: if we were to add 'this is really cute!' or 'you gotta see this!,' the summons would loose its sense of urgency.

We're compelled to import an audience for cute acts like...
  • the child has put an object on his head – like a bucket or a colander – as if the object were a hat!  So cute. 
  • the child is doing an interpretive dance to Mary Poppins' 'Chim Chiminey' song
  • the child put on daddy's Bose headphones and is pretending to be a businessman sitting in first class
  • the child is bathing himself in the sink

And moving the kid to wherever your husband is clearly isn't an option because any state changes – geographic or otherwise – could and probably would cause your child to stop doing the cute thing (and something this cute only happens 2 to 4 times a day!).

So, in an effort to avoid becoming too annoying, I've compiled a simple protocol for us moms to follow.  After all, your husband could be busy watching an important sporting event on TV or right in the middle of playing NBA 2K15 on XBox.  Here we go:

1) Let's disclose the fact that he's being summoned to see the kid doing something cute.  

2) If there's enough time, try to yell a quick summary of the cute act little Johnny is doing – it's possible your husband saw him do it yesterday.

3) Let's be genuinely at ease with our husbands' right to remain on the couch (and let's try not to resent him when he exercises this right).  And finally

4) Let's stop airbrushing that sense of urgency into our voice.  You ladies know the one I mean – the tone that implies your husband is about to witness the second coming.  It's a disingenuous tone...Jesus is not in the nursery (unless He is, in which case forget the protocol).

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